What I know is sometimes, it is the little things that are heaviest to carry for Christ. The big things—the disability, the chronic pain, the deaths, the family skeleton that walked out of the closet in 2019—I have a track record of handing them off to God the way a barista hands you coffee. I know where they go. Right there. No, no, a little to the left, so the shadow of the cross covers them in full.
I want to blame the car seat, because it is always the car seat. I know this. I know it will never be welcome at 3 p.m. but as I tell her, it is required by law.
This, for some reason, seems to make no difference to her.
Most days I am patient. How about a snack? How about a drink? I know it is hard honey, I know it is awful, I know this is not the way you want to wake up.
But other days, I am short and cold and I don't want to admit it but there, I said it.
I stare at the fire and wonder how I would respond if someone said I must renounce Christ or they will give me a one-way ticket to Heaven.
I disagree with the turn the conversation has taken in the group of women I am with. I share a different opinion. "Why?" they ask. Science, I tell them. I do not mention the God factor.
I wonder if we all have it mixed up. We seek God when our mothers are sick and our headaches are chronic and when we need a job, a dollar, a cure. We put them all in a big basket and shove them across the table with one eye closed—you take them God, you be sovereign, you do what you do.
Do not hear me wrong, this is good and right.
But what about when you said "Enough!" but you didn't say it like honey. What about when you felt like you should have hung back and talked to that person who usually goes unseen, but you shoved it down so you could talk to someone more fun? What about when you decided your perfectly good dishes are suddenly good for nothing and yes they are only dishes but they are aiming an arrow straight at your covetous heart.
What about the car seat? What about the science?
Sometimes it is the little things that are heaviest to carry for Christ.